I'm not a relationship expert.
That being said, I have had enough relationship experience to know what it's like to be in a relationship that doesn't work, isn't healthy, is soul-sucking because you can't be yourself, and leaves you feeling lonely - all of that was incredibly draining & it was all because it was not with that magical someone.
Now, let me preface this by saying that all relationships take work, of course. There are ebbs and flows. It's not all butterflies and rainbows. BUT - when you're with the right person, you remain sane, happy, and emotionally healthy.
So, how do you know you've found that magical someone?
1. You can totally be yourself.
Honestly, if you can't do this with your partner, it should be an absolute deal breaker. I'm not talking about you being able to leave your dirty underpants on the floor because you forget to put them in the hamper, I'm talking about things much more fundamental and important - like, being able to be your silly, freaky, or painfully quiet, self without apology.
It needs to be easy and totally comfy to be your true self with this someone - that's what makes it magical. That means you don't have to 'reign it in' because you're making your partner uncomfortable, or you don't have to put on a show just to appease him/her. A magical someone takes your quirks, imperfections, and overall weirdness and embraces - maybe even celebrates - all those things that make "you" you.
2. You truly enjoy being with your magical someone - no matter where it is.
I have never had more fun going to the dump - no lie - than I have had going with Mr. Pretty Peacock. He makes doing super, freaking mundane things like dump runs, the grocery store, the post office - fun. That means that although Disneyland and fancy restaurants are good times, doing the every day, normal, sitting-around-the-family-room- watching-Fixer-Upper types of things pretty damn fun.
3. You deal with life crap really well.
Like I said before, it's not all sunshine and rainbows in relationship-land. But when stuff comes up, it's handled respectfully, with kindness, and in a healthy way. No door slamming, no hateful words spewed. And when problems come up outside of the relationship itself, you get after it like a united front working in partnership.
4. You're invested in each other's happiness.
I spent nearly two decades not having my efforts reciprocated - and that wasn't because he was unkind, it was just because he wasn't really invested in my happiness. And maybe I wasn't really invested in his in the right ways.
Now, let me clarify: You should never count on any other person to make you happy. This is not at all what I'm talking about. What I'm saying is that in a healthy, happy relationship you actually feel joy making the other person happy. You want to show kindness, compassion, support, friendship, and love - you don't feel under obligation to do it. You're in a partnership and in a partnership, you both invest in one another.
5. Love isn't all you've got.
Being all giddy and head-over-heels is pretty awesome. But if you don't have a hardcore friendship with your mate, he/she is not the magical someone you need. Sharing a friendship with your person means that there is a level of raw honesty, compatibility, laugh-till-you-cry type of friendship that keeps your relationship in sync.
I didn't realize the value of humor and lightness in a relationship - don't know how I missed that before. But when you're with your magical someone, you don't even think about it. It's easy to be with him/her, you want to hang out with them all the time, he/she is the first person you want to call when you have anything to share - good, bad, or just another funny cat meme - and they get you.
If you're wondering whether or not you’ve found your magical someone, make a list of all of the things you need and deserve from a lifetime partner — and don’t settle for anything less!!! He/she doesn’t have to be perfect, just perfect for you.